le de salsa ...

Exactly One week after CAT .. I wanted to freak out as mush as possible. Loads of things happened in this week. Both good and bad... Had tonnes of plans for the week. Started with the Casino Royale on the D-day. Altho didnt understand much out of the movie, it really kickstarted me for the so-called freak out week.. Started off pretty well with one movie for 2 days. Meet the parents (Awesome), Sivapathigaram (Pathetic)...R.V, E to follow on... Got some time to spend with friends and with my flute... Fortunately or unfortunately my Flute teacher is delayed for 3 more weeks from her U.S trip. It gave me some more time to blow off the dust particles hidden inside the instrument... Dreams of Salsa Workshop was also high on the list for sunday... But then the so-called "Yes, Have no problems .. so far" said partner ditched me which was pretty much expected. Thirstily was searching for partners, found another who again didnt last for more than 2 days. Atlast the day before I found another partner who did finally manage to stick on.

Although Dindu's chennai ticket glittered in my eyes, I forcelly put it off for the next weekend, owing to the inclination towards learning salsa. Had dinner with Vetti one day along with Sheikh and Dindu. They tried their best to pull me into the dinner talk. But somehow that day I was not really willing to share much. I tried hard imagining what my wud be would be. I think my power house shut down that time owing to disinclination towards the topic. I was always enthusiastic talking abt the future life partner, but somehow that day, am still not able to figure out why I cudnt recollect any of those hidden misteries. Mabbe my focus has so much shifted out that I have been trying hard to fulfill the fun stuff that happens in day to day life... I completely washed myself away from the topic of discussion. I did feel that I could have done better that night, but it soon got over.

I was very anxious to see off friday soon. End of friday I knew how exactly am gonna spend the weekend. Oops the 2 days was filled with event after event.

For Saturday morning, I got myself engaged into the Project LOTUS initiative of Broadcom in conducting drawing competition for 3 of its adopted government schools. Thoroughly enjoyed the freezing morning drive. Met a whole bunch of school kids who were completely disconnected from the urbane life. I have never seen such a small school with not more than 3 closed rooms but housing from std 1 till 5. Government schools are the schools of least priority when it comes to upgradation, better infrastructure, etc. Unable to recognise even one word of what they spoke, felt like a stranger in a foreign land, I started to learn to communicate with them thru hand signs. I found that there are very good souls in my colleagues who took the real hard initiative to go and give back something to the society. Whether its serious or fake, it doesnt matter. I felt at cloud of nine when the competition got over and was about to take off, all the school kids came towards us wished thanks and shook hands with everyone of us. It cannot get any better than that. I joined my ex-roommates for lunch and ofcourse the whole important midday sleep. Met Guja in the evening, drove to the srinivasa temple with him. Came back to gluttonise the pizza ordered and delivered at home. Took loads of pics and went back home with sweet memories.

Somehow, I was desperate to learn salsa over the weekend. Although I was let down by 2 partners, I knew the fact that we really need not bring our own partner. I really thought that the weekend did not want me to learn Salsa. But finally it happened that way. Sunday as usual started with morning 7 kriya followed by breakfast at murali's house. Had a quick lunch and started off 15 mins to 2. Myself and Madhurima in my bike and sheikh and raji in another. After some wandering, waiting for the lost bike/route we managed to find out alliance franchise. Was not able to stop myself in goin for a sugarcane juice. Hit the dance floor soon after the registration process. Altho I initally had problems with a few steps, managed to pull in, but cud not avoid myself getting tired very often. I guess I was supposed to partner with Ashwini, but i did partner with everyother girl there. Salsa steps were quite interesting and didnt require much of an effort (especially the 1-2-3-5-6-7). Steps were not so difficult at all. However, I cannot forgive the instructor who damaged me openly as we were making too much of a noise there and also in making us do the same basic step atleast a thousand times. They didnt really teach us the whole of salsa rather just bits and pieces here n there. The original dance looked awesome. Frequent visits to rest room for freshening up and the quick 10-minute break sessions which saw india lose miserably against southafrica in a yet another debacle combined with meeting a few bitsaa ppl marked the whole day with fun n frolic. Nikhil too joined us for a good dinner at Palm grooves. We made our way back to Zero G. Probably I can proudly say that atlast after working for 9 months in the same building I got a chance to slip in Zero G. End of the day we took a long trip midway to coimbatore to Raji's house. Had a refreshing chai to hit back the house for the next week. With the nostalgic memories of hang over of D.W 2K4 (for which I was the so-called D.W Coord), the week jus started and the journey continues....

hufff ....... with a sigh of relief

Have been anxiously waiting for this time to come to pen down all my thoughts stacked up for about a month now. I exactly knew whats' to come in the last month and knew how to handle it. I knew the end result well in hand still tried my best to keep myself away from getting affected by it . I was in a tranquilised state preparing for CAT. During the course of last 2 weeks that I spent in home under the false pretence of preparation I had a nice time off work. I enjoyed the 2 weeks thoroughly eating, sleeping and ofcourse taking tests and analysing. In the mean time I got to know that I stepped across my first step and most probably the only step. On trying the big leap forward across on to the second step my bum hit the thick and sharp pointed pole and I hit back and fell right across without clearing the menial height. I was defeated thoroughly. I realised that I am slowly starting to mature in taking up the defeat. I knew there's always the next time. Although I was taken aback, I havent really lost the touch of fighting. I didnt bell the cat but atleast it had left a euphonious ring in me to do it next time. The more I felt miserable about the failure the more passionate I became about cracking the next.

All work and no play makes a jack a dull boy is what I learnt previously. But with the kind of work that am in for the last 2 years I dont think there was any thing to work upon. Several technologies come and go and perharps the person who introduces the technology uses much more grey area in his brain cells than the one who implements it. I havent bothered really to unleash darker regions of my brain so far. For these two years I have never faced a real challenge and I used to avert it more often. CAT is a big challenge. Its not easy and at the same time not too difficult as well. I really enjoyed a lot preparing to take up this challenge. I gave it all up thrice in the middle but due to some unknown calls from the nature, I was called back in again and again. I had a really nice time trying to learn shortcuts. Revising back all that I studied 5 years ago gave me a relishing experience. I relied too much on Quant and DI which I knew I was good enough. Verbal was onething that daunted me right from day one. And on the D-Day I lost miserably in that. During those few days of learning the basics and solving some potentially very good problems, I figured out that I spent more time in appreciating the wonders of math rather than really solving it.

I think more or less I have realised that Math is gonna play a major role in my life. I must mention, about my IISC prof here who warned me at this stage. He brought up an unusual argument when I visited him last time. He asked me on what grounds have you understood that Mathematics is your interest ? I was stuck for a moment. Although I gave him a quick reply it is still echoing inside my mind. Perharps he still has a point which I have not got yet. Feeling more passionate about something is very easy. Questioning your passion is what leaves a bad remark on the self. Well still long time to go for the final choice. But more or less the choice I believe was pre-decided for me. Realising the choice is what lies ahead of me. Am planning to take some stern steps inorder to do this.

I got to mention about my frame of mind one day before the D-Day. I was advised not to study anything means absolutely nothing. Had plans of taking a test but as ppl advised it cud be suicidal, i dropped it. spent the morning watching friends and laughing my heart out. Afternoon took a lovely drive to Rajaji nagar dropped into a Hanuman Temple near ISKCON. Had a heavy lunch and came back home and slept.I did have the hint of "whats for tomorrow" was always vaciallting in my mind. evening I went to Satsang that reverberated me. Lost in singing songs abt the divine, I felt gracious of feeling something supernatural. b4 it ended I started thinking abt the misery felt by my close circle of relations for my indifferent attitude towards their relationship in this month. I just realised that I was away from home for 4 months completely (one sem of BITS) denied myself of T.V and all celebrations in that time. Thats when I felt home sick. Well I think its now time to begin hunting for all that I lost during this time. My mind became clear after Satsang. Without unduly worrying about the D-Day, I revised all formuales.

As the D-Day is past now, I got to focus on my fun part of life. I am now dilly - dallying between the Salsa workshop / home visit for the weekend. Lemme see what works out. Got to spend some time on planning the stern steps for the future as well.